ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
