***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
