After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
