I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
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We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
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Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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