so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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