would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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