This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Randomize
