I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
