sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
