Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize