why didn't you poke me back
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
