I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
A+ Viking dick
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
