Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
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Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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