You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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