My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
