I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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