I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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