i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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