no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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