I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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