i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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