The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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