remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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