hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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