I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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