You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize