i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
