it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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