Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
