Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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