at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
