Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
