is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
