you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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