i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
no. you can't hotbox the world.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
