Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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