she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
