I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
