ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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