Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
