I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
