best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize