dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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