BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
