it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
