We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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