She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
