Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Can I color on your dick again?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
