you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
