To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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