"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize