i just had sex bonerless
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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