Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
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I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
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I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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