it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
