im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
