i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
