I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize