Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
