i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
