So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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